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== 5 Ways Delivering Food Is Like Living in a Tarantino Movie ==

<html>The first job I ever had was working as a delivery driver for Mr. M's, the shadiest sandwich shop in the history of creation. "Mr. M's sure is a strange name for a sandwich shop!" you might be saying to yourself, and I couldn't agree more. The only reason the place was named Mr. M's is because the business that was there before us was a sub shop called Mr. Jim's, and my manager cunningly realized that it is far cheaper to simply remove two letters from the sign than buy a whole new one. The front of the building literally read "Mr. __m's", with the eerily naked spacing of those two missing letters staring out at you like a photo in a child's obituary, demanding to know how the world could've allowed this to happen. That sentence also describes what it was like to work there for a summer.
Here are five of the most terrifying misadventures I had as a delivery driver for the most nefarious restaurant ever built.
#5. Nothing About My Employment Was Legal and Everyone Thought I Was a Murderer
Marcin Sadlowski / Getty Images
I got the job because I happened to see a Help Wanted sign in the window and walked in to ask about it. The manager looked like Ted DiBiase if he'd blown his knees out, nursed himself back to health on nothing but meatball subs, and then choked a man to death over a poker game. The interview he gave me consisted of two questions -- "Do you have a car?" and "Can you start tonight?" This was roughly the same interview process faced by Dennis Haysbert in Heat.
I answered "yes" to both questions, so I started that night -- he just handed me a stack of cash and sent me out to deliver sandwiches until 2 o' clock in the morning. He didn't even check to make sure I had a driver's license. For the first two weeks I worked there, the manager knew literally nothing about me beyond my first name and a general description he could provide the police in the event of my disappearance. He didn't ask for my last name,<strong>[http://gextiona.lagunadeduero.org/gextionawiki/index.php/Usuario:Uvqydpjt0#Syndicate_Your_Website_Or_Blog_Content_By_Using_Rss_Feed Syndicate Your Website Or Blog Content By Using Rss Feed]</strong>
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Hemeroskopion / Getty Images<br>
For example, this is pretty much what every payday looked like.
Because I was a 150-pound teenager who had never worked anywhere before, I did my best to say as little as possible to anyone so that I would seem cool and mature. This resulted in everyone referring to me as "the serial killer" and assuming that I was on all of the drugs in the universe. So if you called in a sandwich order to Mr. M's late one Saturday night, you'd hear the guy taking your order shout out "Hey, we got another delivery for the serial killer!" just before he hung up the phone.
When an impending shutdown finally forced us all to go get food handler's cards, it consisted of us driving 30 minutes out to a rec center on the opposite side of the city and watching an instructional video from 1993 starring a bunch of 12-year-old children offering helpful tidbits like "Don't bleed in the soup" and "You can't serve gray meat." I have no idea what audience this video was intended for, but I watched intently to see if any of the kids were trying to blink "Save us" in Morse code.
#4. I Constantly Walked in on People Masturbating and/or Having Sex
Shironosov / Getty Images
At least once a week I would show up at a customer's house and be told to wait in the front hall (or occasionally the living room) while they disappeared to get their money, and I would be standing in full view of someone either hunched over a computer wrestling out a psychotic orgasm or manhandling the genitalia of a fellow human being. Without fail, every single person I saw doing this had a face like moldy chewing tobacco. "Delivery boy walks into an orgy" may sound like the beginning of a porno until you experience it in real life,[http://deluxcustomlighting.com/shows.html <strike>basketball jerseys wholesale</strike>], where it is closer to the prologue of an Italian horror movie.
I bore witness to more terrifying nudity than  in 8MM. It's like if Tony Montana ordered a party calzone and then made the delivery guy stand there and watch him take a bath in his giant Jacuzzi tub before agreeing to pay for it. People gave me about as much regard as if the cat had just walked into the room and were content to leave me waiting in a nimbus of penis burps while they looked for their wallets, which for some reason never seemed to be directly on hand despite the fact that they had consciously called in an order for a Philly cheese steak and were presumably anticipating my arrival.
Hemera Technologies / Getty Images<br>
"Here's an extra 10 for heroically keeping your feet after that wave of fuck thunder smashed into you when I answered the door."
I was once left standing in the entryway of a duplex by a guy in a  T-shirt watching two bare-chested Lord of the Rings villains sitting in front of a computer in the next room and screaming impassioned demands at the Internet to relinquish the pictures of Angelina Jolie's vagina it was so cleverly hiding. These men were clearly just about to start thrashing baby paste out of their doom spigots, and they wouldn't have stopped if Santa Claus had tumbled in through a secret door behind the bookcase and asked them why they were making their mothers cry.
Vinicius Ramalho Tupinamba / Getty Images<br>
"Delivery, you say? Just a moment, I'm almost finished here."
#3. I Witnessed Criminal Activity on a Daily Basis,[http://www.tricana.pt/topos.php <em>Wholesale Nike NFL Jerseys</em>], Both Inside and Outside the Restaurant
Selimaksan / Getty Images
Mr. M's was located in a strip mall that contained a sex toy dungeon, a gay bar called the Nutty Buddy with a picture of Laurel and Hardy on the side, a travel agency, and a KB Toys. It was the site of a future stop on a ghost walk. I expected Michael Biehn to appear in a lightning storm by the dumpsters at any second.
My co-workers would routinely stand outside along the front of these shops and peddle boxes of the most bizarre collection of stolen wares anyone has ever seen -- random stacks of children's storybooks with gold-lined pages, Happy Meal toys from 1987, a single nunchaku from a Ninja Turtle action figure, a La Bouche CD, troll dolls, and piles of Beanie Babies. They were like shoe boxes full of Gypsy spells. I have no idea why anyone would want to buy anything my co-workers had obviously stolen from a drugstore the previous weekend, let alone why anyone would want to buy a Tarzan coloring book from a guy with a braided ponytail standing on a cracked sidewalk in front of a dimly lit pornography shop with a single entrance, but my co-workers had new things to sell every week.
Paul Vasarhelyi / Getty Images<br>
"Wait, is that my La Bouche CD?"
Customers would try to sell us stolen stuff, too. It was like a trading caravan in Sherwood Forest. I got cornered in the parking lot by two girls with iodine-stained fingers who were determined to sell me a bag of women's cosmetics that I'm pretty sure still had shards of broken glass in it.
Also, a solid 30 percent of our customer base would be actively involved in a drug deal when I showed up with their food, either discussing one in detail over the phone or actually exchanging baggies of cocaine for wads of money as I stood there becoming a material witness. I literally had two guys look at me in alarm and mutter something to their ringleader,[http://www.tricana.pt/topos.php <strike>Wholesale NFL Jerseys</strike>], who responded,<strong>[http://sohum.cn/plus/view.php?aid=184895 Yakupov, Oilers endure peaks and valleys]</strong>
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Istvan Csak / Getty Images<br>
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#4. They're All "Dark Reimaginings" of the Original Story
Most fairy tales started out as horror stories intended to terrify children into good behavior, so there's something kind of poetic about Disney and company exploring the darker sides of the stories that they once, well, Disneyfied. That being said, what's the fun in making fairy tales too dark for the people they were originally intended for -- kids?
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And it's only getting worse -- we've got the upcoming Beauty and the Beast, simply titled  and written by the dude who did Danny Boyle's last film. After that we're also getting a  "in the vein of Batman Begins." Because lord knows kids have been demanding to see Pan go back to his Frank Miller roots.
#3. Every Evil Villainess Is Played by a Famous Hot Actress
We're not exactly complaining, but it appears that the first thing these adaptations do is open up the original tale and replace every mention of "a warty evil witch" with "a beautiful lady." Maleficent stars Angelina Jolie as the mistress of evil, Alice in Wonderland took the plump Queen of Hearts and made her a big-headed Helena Bonham Carter,<strong>[http://dawap.org/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=805901 Indian Dresses On The Go]</strong>
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Walt Disney<br>
She'd win the Sexiest Costume prize at any Halloween party she attended, even if no contests were actually being held.
The only ones that make a lick of sense are Charlize Theron and Julia Roberts playing the queen in those dual Snow White movies. But considering the track record, we're guessing this has less to do with the source material and more to do with giving the grown-ups a little A-list eye candy during the film, because causing a boner is the new evil.
#2. There Will Be Some Combination of Black Birds, Scary Forests, and Tall Castles
Apparently there's some rulebook of fairy tale adaptation consistency that states that it's A-OK to completely veer off the original plot but visually the film must match every generic dark magic story that ever existed.
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Walt Disney
So did .
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Oz replaced crows with flying monkeys, but kept all the .
Walt Disney
Snow White and the Huntsman took place  where ravens are apparently the dominant species.
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#1. Everyone Is an Action Hero for Some Reason
In what must be executive meddling at its finest, the single most common denominator for all of these new fairy tales is that, no matter the character's background or age, he or she must have the ability to kill a person with a broadsword. Sure, Snow White's fine and all, but how can we really like her unless she's seen jumping through fire with a shield?
Walt Disney<br>
Considering how wooden Kristen Stewart is, this is doubly dangerous.
And sure, the story of Jack the Giant Slayer follows a young naive kid learning the valuable lessons of giant safety, but that's no reason for him not to ninja down on a giant's back like a drunken Matrix villain.
Warner Bros.<br>
"Awesome!" -
The same goes for Alice, of course, as the new Once Upon a Time in Wonderland TV show decided that a story about white rabbits and talking disembodied cat heads isn't interesting unless the main character knows how to slit a throat with zero remorse.
ABC Studios<br>
We're pretty sure "Off with their heads!" isn't supposed to be her line.
For the sake of fuck, even the Mad Hatter from Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland gets a swashbuckling duel like he's Captain Jack Sparrow.
Walt Disney<br>
Johnny Depp insists that all contracts include at least one silly sword fight per role.
Because isn't that what fairy tales are all about? Remember the three most basic fairy tale morals: follow your heart; dreams can come true; and yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.</html>

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With its sweet and richly flavored layers, this cheesecake makes Jeff s table at every holiday dinner because at the end of the day, Harriet s is best. <br>The Turkey Terrific Sandwich at this New England eatery is so beloved that locals complained when the owners tried to tweak it even slightly. Simply perfect as-is, it s a classic stack of thick smoked turkey slices, stovetop stuffing, canned cranberry sauce and a slather of mayo on tender Portuguese bread. Alex Guarnaschelli finds the sandwich so comforting that she claimed on The Best Thing I Ever Ate that she d take a subway to a bus to a car to a ferry to get it. This simple pleasure sandwiches the whole Thanksgiving table between two slices of bread, but be sure to get it when the store is in season, as Provisions is closed from mid-October through early May. The upside? You can satisfy your holiday turkey craving even when the weather turns warm in Nantucket. <br>At this famous Music City smokehouse, Claire Robinson discovered what she called the best turkey sandwich" she'd ever had, on The Best Thing I Ever Ate. Centered in the heart of Nashville, Hog Heaven smokes all the usual barbecue standards, but it s the smoked turkey that takes the starring role around Thanksgiving. They smoke a massive 15-pound turkey breast for hours, then hand-pull the meat into juicy strips to serve on an onion roll or between cornbread slices. Then it s smothered with their famous Kickin Chicken white barbecue sauce that s made with mayonnaise and buttermilk (plus a host of super-secret house ingredients). It s so tangy, creamy and addictive that you ll want to ask for extra dipping sauce on the side.<br>Thanksgiving in the Big Easy means amping up the classics Cajun-style, and Sammy s Deli does just that with their Southern turkey and oyster dressing. The entire turkey is brushed with a garlic butter rub and dusted with Cajun seasoning while the dressing gains substantial flavor and texture from a creamy b chamel sauce and a boatload of oysters. Roasted over a bed of vegetables and chicken stock, the turkey emerges with ready-made pan gravy, perfect for spooning over top to complete what Guy called Mardi Gras on a plate. On the sweeter side, Sammy s serves up thick slabs of pumpkin bread pudding made with roasted pumpkin puree and dotted with candied walnuts for crunch. A thick rum sauce completes the slice and caps off a Bayou-inspired holiday bite.<br>At this acclaimed New York restaurant, you ll find an indulgent three-course prix-fixe Thanksgiving meal that s worthy of giving thanks. Michael Psilakis called this special feast American food at its best on The Best Thing I Ever Ate, when he raved about each individual dish. He feasted on a first course of decadent seared foie gras with Concord grape gelee, followed by butternut squash risotto with sage and spiced butter, which leads into the main event of perfectly cooked organic turkey over a silky smooth potato puree with cranberry compote. This fall-inspired menu brings traditional Thanksgiving food to new heights and lets you enjoy the holiday outside of the kitchen. <br>At this family-run joint on Hobson s Wharf, you ll find delicious diner fare with seafood-inspired flair. Becky started the place 20 years ago and enlisted all of her kids to help out, with her son catching fresh lobsters and her daughter serving them up as a Thanksgiving special every November. Stuffed lobster is their seasonal riff on the main course, which features locally caught lobster filled with a creamy collection of scallops, shrimp, haddock and crab meat that Guy described as everything you want seafood stuffing to be. Brimming with tender meat, this stuffed crustacean is a New England-style alternative to traditional turkey, boasting briny ocean flavor and five types of seafood all in one shell. <br>Described as Plymouth Rock in a glass, Grant Grill s Smashing Pumpkin Martini is the quintessential cocktail to get the Thanksgiving season started. Featured on The Best Thing I Ever Ate, this seasonal sip is made specifically for the holiday, and the house mixologist is known for his culinary-inspired cocktails and innovative methods. The Smashing Pumpkin begins with rum that s infused with farmers' market pumpkin for fresh fall flavor. This festive spirit is shaken up with Grand Marnier, ginger, Meyer lemon and homemade saffron syrup for golden color, then served in a goblet with a tiny pumpkin garnish. Perfectly spiced and subtly sweet, this Thanksgiving drink would surely be Pilgrim-approved.<br>Willie Bird s is both a restaurant and farm for family-raised, free-range turkeys that s been around since 1924. This turkey empire raises 100,000 birds every year, which explains why 90 percent of the menu involves turkey in some form. Guy called Willie Bird s a world of turkey, as it features countless international variations like turkey scallopini, turkey stroganoff, teriyaki turkey and turkey-fried steak, which even uses turkey eggs in its breading egg wash. The decadent scallopini swaps slices of turkey for meaty chunks and saut s them with mushrooms in a Marsala wine sauce. Willie Bird s promises turkey always and turkey all ways! And with so many options, it s tempting to take a full tour of the turkey-centric menu and try each variation of the versatile bird.<br>To get the most bang for your Thanksgiving buck, head to this Sunshine State steakhouse that serves up a superbird, otherwise known as the turducken. This outrageous special begins with a chicken filled with Cajun-spiced cornbread and spinach stuffing, which is then placed inside a whole duck. Next,[http://www.tricana.pt/topos.php <em>Wholesale Nike NFL Jerseys</em>], both of the birds are stuffed inside a giant turkey and roasted for upward of 12 hours. This powerful poultry trio unites to form a moist and complex flavorfest, as Guy described during his visit, with each layer providing its own unique textures, from the light and tender chicken to the deeply rich duck. There s no question that the turducken is the king of birds and a great way to get your ultimate Thanksgiving fix.<br>Two Syracuse grads opened this inspired underground caf that was modeled after their college house parties, complete with homemade waffles and a spinning DJ. Their imaginative waffle inventions have since taken a funky turn, with flavors like bacon-stuffed buttermilk, brownie and falafel waffles on the menu. They even serve a Jive Turkey waffle that was featured on Triple D; it changed Thanksgiving for me forever, Guy said. This waffle harnesses the holiday with a chunky stuffing batter made from bread cubes, caramelized onion, celery, rosemary and chicken broth. That s cooked until crispy in a waffle iron and then covered with sliced turkey, garlic mashed potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce to turn out the most funkin ridiculous waffle you ll ever try. <br> <br><br>Beachside barbecue is Whitner s specialty, where the owners are crankin out the 'cue in countless forms, from burnt ends to brisket. The most righteous dish of all is Mr. Whitner s Smoked Turkey Sandwich, which is timely for Thanksgiving, but equally delicious any time of year. This holiday on a bun is heaped with turkey breast that s smothered in barbecue rub and hickory-smoked for woodsy flavor. That s topped with sweet and tangy cranberry chutney, a curry-habanero mayo and crunchy cornbread croutons that deliver unexpected texture. Guy called this towering sandwich top-notch and asked to take out 3,000 to go, please, when he tasted it on Triple D. With such hefty praise, you know this turkey must be worth a road trip or two.For more FN-approved restaurants, check out .</html>

== 5th suspect arrested after naked, beaten man found in park ==

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== Find me a beer similar to Golden Road Berliner Weisse ==

<html>I can't give a specific recommendation, but note that the Berlinerweisse style is *not* a typical Weissbier. There are a number of beers labeled Berliner Wei?e out there; they're typically a summer beer - low abv, crisp, a bit sour, refreshing.<br>posted by  at  on November 22 [] <br><br>
 is a particular style of mild,<strong>[http://honeywiki.zavinagi.org/index.php?title=User:Husxbqyk9#10_Things_You_Didn.27t_Know_About_Robert_Irvine 10 Things You Didn't Know About Robert Irvine]</strong>, wheat-containing . A sour beer with Lactobacillus might give you more of the sour character you're looking for,[http://deluxcustomlighting.com/shows.html <em>cheap jerseys with free shipping</em>], Brettanomyces and Pediococcus will add more of a funky flavor and aroma that might fall into the complex flavor you're looking for, or you might find un-appealing. Wild-yeasted sours can be more unpredictable.<br>
Unfortunately, the complexity, unpredictability, and need for aging time and often wooden barrels to age in makes many sour beers much more limited in availability. They are often only distributed more locally (not nationally) and are often available for a limited time. I would look into different  and into local breweries that offer sours and try their seasonal offerings. I'm more familiar with Colorado breweries that make good sours (Funkwerks, Crooked Stave, Trinity, etc.), but  is a large brewery near you known for their sours (as well as IPAs). Many of those will be stronger than a Berliner weisse, but may share some of the tartness and complexity you liked.<br>
Good luck!<br>posted by  at  on November 22 <br><br>
Get thee to a decent beer store and by a selection of Belgian ales. They are usually much more sour and wine lik etc per the above. A lambic is a type of belgian beer made with so-called volunteer yeast which are extra delish and probably closeest in fkavor profile,[http://www.tricana.pt/topos.php <em>Wholesale NFL Jerseys</em>]. If you'd enjoy a fruit note raspberry lambic (or kriek lambic on the bottle) has raspberries chucked in. <br>
The Belgian beers are going to be heavier by a good measure but I think if sour beers or what beer is most wine-like is your gateway the the Belgian beers will be a good match for those concepts,<strong>[http://www.niquess.com/indomaretmusik#comment-669059 25 Google Doodles We Want to See Next]</strong>. And they're mass market enough to find a variety cheap enough to explore PLUS they're almost universally sold as singles so you don't have to commit to 4 or 6 to try one....<br>
Enjoy.<br>posted by  at  on November 23 [] <br><br>
I really need to proof read better on my phone during preview.<br>posted by  at  on November 23 <br><br>
Berliner Weisse is a style that brewers will usually only do on a limited basis. Heretic sells  in the summer,[http://deluxcustomlighting.com/shows.html <em>basketball jerseys wholesale</em>]. The Bruery sells  on occasion as well.<br>posted by  at  on November 23 <br><br>
 is Dogfish Head's so-called neo-Berliner Weisse . It's my favorite beer, though it tends to be in stores only in the summer.<br>posted by  at  on November 23 <br><br>
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