Breaking Boundaries Assert Yourself And Just take Charge
De BISAWiki
Are you sick and fed up with being treated just like a doormat and having people walk all over you? If you answered yes jt foxx, read on...
Its time you learn how to assert yourself by honoring and respecting your personal and professional boundaries. It is important that you do so because if you cant consider yourself jt foxx, nobody else can.
We have all...
"They that will give up crucial liberty to acquire a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin
Are you sick and tired of being treated like a doormat and having people walk all over you? In the event that you answered yes, read on...
Its time you learn to assert yourself by enjoying and respecting your personal and professional boundaries. It is important that you do this because if you cant be aware of yourself, nobody else can.
Boundary violations have been all at one time or another experienced by us from friends, relatives, or co-workers be it intentional or unintentional. Such activities can become very uncomfortable and difficult to deal with, especially when working with people you know thoroughly. How could you manage your lifetime and end the cycle of abuse?
It begins with self-honoring and self-respect. Know your self. Know your weaknesses and strengths, know what you stand for and what you don't stand for, know your boundaries. Know thyself and you will know the universe and the Gods, while the Greeks after said.
Be familiar with your physical, psychological, and social restrictions in the various regions of your life including relationships, professional, family, and particular. Take some time to actually communicate with border violators permitting them to know in no uncertain terms that you dont enjoy being treated in a particular way and won't accept it. Different situations can demand different ways of working with such issues depending on your personality, your work, and the situation.
For example, Rebecca Rosenblat (aka Dr. Date) is a Toronto sex therapist would you the lecture circuit on sexual relationships and driving people fan wild in bed. As you can imagine, she's having her restrictions violated constantly. Many individuals assume, incorrectly, that because she's a public figure and power on sex that they've the proper to create improper comments and sexual innuendos.
Some deranged people think they really have the right to have sex with her, if that werent terrible enough! After she finished delivering her seminar and bluntly said one person went around her, Id like to f*@#k you. Quickly and she laughed brushed him off by saying, My class was about driving YOUR own partner wild in bednot meI have my own man! In her profession, Dr. Date sees laughter and a, fast wit to be more effective.
One time, somebody had physically got her tush. In response, he is kneeded by her right in the crotch! That individual wasnt too bright and asked a silly follow-up question, Why did you do that for? She responded with, You touched my ass, I touched your crotch!
In Rebeccas case, due to the nature of her career, she decides to react to verbal abuse in a way and physical abuse in a physical way. But violators beware! Not only is this sort of behavior socially unacceptable, its just plain stupid; you can end up with a order, a life-debilitating suit, or some serious prison time. Those who continually violate their friends restrictions need certainly to smarten up and back off. Their a for disaster, finally damaging the relationship that's taken way too long to create. We all have friends who want to give advice but rarely follow it themselves. Gone too much, they start telling you what to do with your life. These folks believe because they are your pals, they've the right to tell you how to proceed and try to change you. And if you dont change and do what they tell you, they go on it personally.
Friends who make such relationship sins should smell the coffee and wake up. My message for them is, Stop! Have a long look in the mirror and recognize that the only person that can change is YOU! Quit to obtain the speck of dust from your neighbors attention and remove the plank from your own personal! Create a top ten list of the method that you may be breaking other people restrictions and work towards removing these bad habits from your life.
If you feel you're a victim of such boundary hunters, you need to sit down with such friends and reveal to them seriously what you're experiencing and how you want to be treated in such situations. You may start by saying something to the following effect: I dont want it when you keep telling me what I want regarding my life. Often as a friend I just wish to confide in you and feel supported. Im not looking for guidance, just some understanding and empathy. Should this pattern of border crossing punishment continue unabated, then I'd strongly advise that you exercise respect for yourself by moving forward and ending the partnership.
But imagine if this person is my boss? you might ask. Won't it jeopardize my job and potential opportunities for promotion? My answer to this question is just a direct one: regardless of whether its a relative, friend, co-worker, as well as company, if you dont such as the way you are being addressed remain true on your own and say so! Have the courage to face whoever it is who's crossing your limits and exercise your right to be treated as a free of charge and intelligent human being; even if what this means is ending the relationship, making, or getting fired from your job. You don't deserve to be continually mistreated in virtually any situation. In fact, in many cases anyone being challenged will have a brand new found respect for you when you present enough backbone and courage and remain true for who you are. As a case in point, Janick Leonard, now a Network Marketer, served as a waitress ten years ago for a fashionable Mont-Tremblant restaurant. The dog owner had a huge rage management problem and would continually shout and freely chew out his employees in public places. He chewed her out for no apparent reason and began calling her names and verbally abusing her in front of consumers one day. She quit her job close to the location and left, setting an illustration to those that kept taking the abuse.
I possibly could not handle being managing like that, she writes. My boundaries were crossed by him and I decided I'd never let anyone treat me in this manner again. Their probably one of the most useful decisions she's available. After she quit, a letter was written by her to the owner showing how she felt and letting him know that all the workers felt the same manner, producing difficult tension and resentment when he was round the restaurant. The employees were pretending to like him while the reality was that everybody was talking behind his back, and Janick expressed this in her letter to the master. As a result, this letter changed the way the owner treated his workers after that.
But thats only half the story. Janick jubilantly writes, After a few years, I sat with my ex-boss and peace was made by us. I was hired by him again for another of his restaurants and I worked for him and his partner for 36 months while I was studying fashion in school. Our relationship has been easy, traditional, and predicated on respect... It still is today.
If you recognize and regard oneself, and treat others with the same dignity you'd wish to be treated with, your whole life may change for the higher. From this day forward, promise to say yourself, have a mean your own personal freedom, and never let anyone continue steadily to cross your limitations again!
jt foxx