Strain Personal Development When Navel-Gazing Turns Nasty
De BISAWiki
Generally speaking, the more we develop ourselves personally, the lower our long-term tension levels. After all, discovering our life purpose helps avoid the strain of pointlessness. Developing better communication skills avoids many relationship problems. Improving time management helps avoid feeling overcommitted in day-to-day work. On the surface, strain management and personal development seem to fit together perfectly.
There are times, however, when personal development itself can get a little out of control - when it starts adding to your strain, rather than helping manage it. When that happens, you can start to find yourself showing more of the signs of anxiety http://www.learningnlptechniques.com.sg/ (for more information on these, ask for a copy of our free anxiety audit questionnaire), instead of less.
So should we totally avoid personal development altogether if we want to keep a handle on pressure? Not necessarily, but we may need to look at what development we're doing and how it's affecting our anxiety levels.
SO HOW CAN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT INCREASE Anxiety?
All personal development involves change on some level, and change is a major source of tension for many people. This means that, even if you're trying to improve something that will eventually lower your pressure level (e.g. time management or communication skills), it can sometimes act as a short-term.
There are four main reasons for personal development work causing, rather than curing strain:
- Too Many Areas
- Lack of Balance
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Going it Alone
TOO MANY AREAS
Personal development can be addictive - who wouldn't want to be the best person they can in every area of their lives? With so many areas we could work on, we often try to improve in multiple areas at once. For some people, this isn't an issue. For others, however, the old adage "chase two rabbits, catch neither" applies.
If you're working on improving two or more areas of your life and your tension levels rise, consider asking yourself, "Which area is most important right now?", or, "Which area would improving make the most difference for me right now?" and then focussing on that area. Everything else will still be there waiting for you when you're finished with the first one!
LACK OF OVERALL BALANCE
Personal development takes commitment and willingness to act. Sometimes, however, we exaggerate the importance of a particular improvement to the point that nothing else matters, and other areas get neglected. For example, if you want to develop spiritually, you need to take time out to do this. If you start ignoring friends or work demands so you can meditate to for hours each day, it may start causing tension.
Note that you're the only one who can say what the right balance of "personal development time". Some people might want to take weeks, months, or years out from the world for self-improvement. Most of us, however, want to integrate our development with our current lifestyles. If that's the case for you, examine how much time you spend on personal development, and consider cutting back if appropriate.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
It can be hard to create a mental image of how we want to be, then acknowledge how far we are from it now without blaming or getting angry with ourselves. In the same vein, once we have that clear image, it's easy to believe that we'll suddenly be able to act in accordance with it. If only it were that easy!
In reality, that habits take time to change, new skills take practice to implement, and little that happens overnight will last. If you're frustrated because you're not seeing progress (or not seeing it fast enough), remember self-improvement is a little like building a house. The first part of the work always happens beneath ground level - digging and then laying foundations. On the surface, it would seem absolutely nothing was happening. Yet if those foundations aren't laid properly, the house itself will collapse. Personal development can be a lot like that.
