The Report Healthier Grief Unhealthy Grief

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We all know that it is in people greatest good to grieve the loss of the relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings in place of letting them get caught within the body. Healthy sadness allows the griever to proceed with life and treat the loss. Yet suffering is not always therapeutic. Many of us have known individuals who were trapped in their suffering, not able to progress in their lives and seemingly locked into the past. What is the difference between those who feel their suffering and go forward and those who get stuck inside? The difference is based on what they think they've lost. When people feel they have lost their source of love, their suffering can feel never-ending. H have been in a relationship with Samantha when Samantha made a decision to end the relationship. Gary was ruined. Within this connection, like in his past relationships, Gary was a taker always hoping to get love but struggling to give love or share love. Samantha gave a lot to him of love, but she usually felt very unhappy with him. Gary was devastated because his source of love was gone when she left. As a person he loved he was not grieving the loss in Samantha. He was mourning the loss of her love for him. As a supportive person instead of he was grieving as a missing wounded child. As a result, Gary became stuck in his despair. He was stuck in feeling like a victim stuck in poor me. Gary had never done the inner work to produce an adult section of himself that may carry love to himself and discuss it with others. He felt lost, abandoned, and hurt. No matter how much he cried, no recovery occurred. He only continued to feel alone and despairing, since he was leaving himself. Often he was angry at Samantha for leaving him and other times he was angry at herself for maybe not being a better partner. He had many regrets that bothered him, and a consistent internal chorus was, If only I'd If only I'd listened to her more, probably she wouldnt have remaining. Only if I'd told her how beautiful she is, probably she wouldnt have gone. Joe, on the other hand, was in deep despair over the death of his beloved wife, Beth. He'd liked Beth along with his whole heart and he missed her terribly. Yet Franks grief was completely different than Garys grief. Frank missed Beths laugh. He missed her pleasure, her looking after people, her sense of wonder. He missed her as a individual, and he missed having the ability to share his love with her. Joe had no regrets because he'd not been a taker. He had loved Beth absolutely and was deeply grateful for the time he had with her. Visit become a certified pet loss grief counselor to research the inner workings of it. But Frank was actually fine. His grief came in waves, and he cried when it came. Then it cleaned through and he was good again. Frank was fine because Beth hadn't been the origin of his sense of self. Joe had a strong supportive inner adult who was associated with a religious source of love and wisdom. This is his Source, not Beth. Joe was an individual who took full responsibility for his or her own pain and pleasure. He'd never made Beth responsible for his thoughts or his wellbeing. Since he'd never abandoned himself, he can miss Beth and grieve for her without feeling victimized, lost, abandoned and alone. Gary, on-the other hand, wasn't good, irrespective of just how much disappointment he released, because Samantha were his Source of love, his Higher Power. He had passed to her the job of defining his sense of self, when she left, all he could feel was forgotten. Gary had handed his Inner Child his emotion self to Samantha. He'd made Samantha in charge of his feelings, so he felt like an abandoned daughter or son, when she left. His Source of love choose to go away. He knew how to love others, because Frank knew how to love himself. In just a couple of years, Frank was in another relationship. Gary found yet another relationship within six months of losing Samantha, and six months next was again alone. Until Gary decides to-learn to take responsibility for his own emotions and needs, he'll probably continue to reduce relationship after relationship, and continue to be caught in feeling like a target of the women in his life.The American Academy of Grief Counseling 2400 Niles-Cortland Rd. SE Suite 4 Warren Ohio 44484 Email: info@aihcp.org Phone: 330-652-7776 website: www.aihcp.org