How could every thing adjust so substantially?
De BISAWiki
I came across this quote today and wanted to share it with you. You may possibly find that it relates to your marriage.
The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in enjoy with a personality, but we have to live with a character.
- Peter Devries
We can only appreciate the profundity of this statement if we realize what is meant by CHARACTER.
Personality is easy to comprehend. Your personality is how people knowledge you. Its your public persona.
But what is character? And why is character so vital in your marriage?
Character is who you are when no a single is watching.
Let me say that once more so you can read it slowly and truly digest it this time.
Character is who you are when no a single is watching.
You see, when you and your spouse met, you met every others PERSONALITIES. You showed your spouse and you were shown by your spouse your public personas. Im not saying you tricked every other. Its just your personalityhow you show your self to other folks.
But marriage lasts also lengthy in also close quarters for anybody to sustain a public persona. Personalities ultimately give way to an INNER SELF that gets revealed for the very first time. And there you each stand, naked as if no one is watching. But someone is watching. And thats when you meet for the 1st timeagain!
You and your spouse dont meet the person who charmed every other people friends, bought gifts for each and every other individuals parents, and usually smiled from ear to ear. No, this time its a meeting of your CHARACTERS.
In several cases, its not only that youre meeting each other for the first time, but its that youre meeting YOURSELVES for the 1st time.
Most individuals wouldnt be caught dead treating any person the way they treat their spouse. Most folks dont recognize their own behavior. Im just not myself with him/her. Effectively then who is that particular person? Thats YOUits your character. (And your spouse meets their character.)
The explanation so numerous men and women fail at marriage and an try at marriage renewal is NOT that they dont like their spouse. Its that they dont like THEMSELVES. And although everyone else in their life is like a mirror reflecting their personality their spouse is a mirror reflecting their character. And most individuals dont like what they see.
Several people would rather select to be with someone else than remain with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you get that?)
Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on good results, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: You are as much a genuine particular person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as critical as the surface. There are folks who are all facade, like a property left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage.
Marriage renewal and individual character development go hand-in-hand. If you want to increase 1, perform on the other also.
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