How could every thing change so drastically?

De BISAWiki

I came across this quote right now and wanted to share it with you. You could find that it relates to your marriage.

The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we should live with a character.

- Peter Devries

We can only appreciate the profundity of this statement if we realize what is meant by CHARACTER.

Personality is effortless to recognize. Your personality is how individuals experience you. Its your public persona.

But what is character? And why is character so critical in your marriage?

Character is who you are when no a single is watching.

Let me say that once more so you can read it gradually and really digest it this time.

Character is who you are when no 1 is watching.

You see, when you and your spouse met, you met every single other folks PERSONALITIES. You showed your spouse and you had been shown by your spouse your public personas. Im not saying you tricked each and every other. Its just your personalityhow you show yourself to others.

But marriage lasts also long in as well close quarters for anybody to sustain a public persona. Personalities eventually give way to an INNER SELF that gets revealed for the first time. And there you each stand, naked as if no 1 is watching. But someone is watching. And thats when you meet for the initial timeagain!

You and your spouse dont meet the particular person who charmed each other people buddies, bought gifts for every other people parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this time its a meeting of your CHARACTERS.

In many situations, its not only that youre meeting each and every other for the 1st time, but its that youre meeting YOURSELVES for the very first time.

Most folks wouldnt be caught dead treating any individual the way they treat their spouse. Most folks dont recognize their personal behavior. Im just not myself with him/her. Nicely then who is that individual? Thats YOUits your character. (And your spouse meets their character.)

The cause so a lot of folks fail at marriage and an attempt at marriage renewal is NOT that they dont like their spouse. Its that they dont like THEMSELVES. If you know anything, you will certainly hate to discover about music concerts in st. louis. And although everybody else in their life is like a mirror reflecting their personality their spouse is a mirror reflecting their character. And most individuals dont like what they see.

Numerous people would rather select to be with an individual else than remain with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on good results, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: You are as significantly a true particular person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as essential as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a house left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage.

Marriage renewal and individual character development go hand-in-hand. If you want to increase one particular, perform on the other also.

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